Month: February 2013

Simplicity Is An Inside Job

/ Denise / 2 Comments

Hmmm. Simplicity. What does that even mean? One of the most interesting epiphanies I’ve had over the last two years was the realization that each time I chose to add an activity to my calendar or an item to my closet, I was mostly seeking fulfillment. Looking back it seems like ‘crazy talk’ when I say that out loud, but you see, I always felt there was something missing from my life. What never occurred to me was that something…was me. I was missing from my life. The more activities I added, the more responsibilities I accepted, the more possessions I bought only created more of a void. Those things separated me from the stillness I needed to really get to know myself . Finally I started to realize what really mattered to me was spending time with my friends and family, reading a book, writing or putting another spin on my already-fantastic banana bread recipe. Listening to a really great songwriter and getting a super-restful night of sleep were also things I realized I needed in my life to be happy.

Those things, the ones that give me the greatest joy, are the simplest. They don’t require a season pass or a new outfit. They don’t ask me to spend hundreds of dollars or even to clean my house. This may seem simple to some, maybe even a bit boring, but to me they are the lifeline to keeping my sanity.

Simplicity means making room for the things that really matter amongst the noise of life. Some of us are so busy and so caught up with impressing other people that we don’t even know what that means. Linda Breen Pierce’s book, Choosing Simplicity, reminds us that many of the challenges we create – and even some of the health issues we have – are consequences of our belief that we have to have everything. Finding value in what you NEED versus having everything you WANT gives you freedom to say “I choose to relax.” I spent a lot of my life seeking the impressive career, amassing material possessions, and purchasing letters to plug in after my name by way of huge student loan debt. In the end, I realized what I really love to do wasn’t enhanced by any of those things. In fact, it took me 28 years to realize what my 8th grade language arts teacher, Mrs. Childers, learned about me the first week of school. I love to read and I love to write. Neither of those require an MBA nor do they require a 4,000 square foot house.

At some point, hopefully, everyone who feels lost can come to the realization they are missing out on the things they truly value and enjoy in order to live a life someone, at some point, told them they should live. There are a lot of reasons why we believe that line of nonsense,and it takes some longer than others to realize it is just that: nonsense. But, of course, the turning point for many is one simple question: Why are you living your life?

You don’t have to live in the country to enjoy a simpler life. You can own more than 100 things. You can paint your walls any color you desire. You can buy your vegetables at the grocery store. The change to living a more free and balanced – more simple – life comes from within you – not outside of you. Living outside of yourself is what got you into this mess in the first place. Pick a handful of things you really value – and that should be enough to start you on your journey.

If you’ve read through past posts, you know my story. I won’t bore you with it again for awhile. But in the coming months you will hear from some of my favorite people who left an old life behind to pursue the life they truly value. Ken, who left a high stress broadcasting position to open a thrift store; Kathryn, an author who left her full-time job to finally finish her novel; and Liz, a world traveler who bought an $8 wedding dress at the Salvation Army Thrift Store and buys the majority of her possessions from Craigslist so she and her husband can have the resources needed travel to far away lands. My plan for this year’s blog schedule has lead me to some very interesting people and I hope you will be as inspired by them a I am.

Weekly Challenge:

Is there something on your calendar that you just dread? Can you get rid of it? For me I host a monthly database management group (I know, right. Sounds so exciting…!) but lately it hasn’t done anything to light my fire. So, this week I have decided to send out the notice that the meeting is cancelled. Forever. What can you get rid of this week?

And, March is almost upon us. Let’s prepare mentally for the challenge:

March challenge:

We are invoking my infamous ‘white hanger theory’ this month at our home. We wear 20% of our clothing 80% of the time. This means that, literally, 80% of the clothes in our closets are unnecessary. The white hanger theory works like this: Each time you wear something this month from your closet, rehang it on a white hanger. Do this for three months. In 90 days, you’ll see most of your clothes are not on white hangers. Decide with what you can part. Don’t have white hangers? Then try this instead.

5 Lessons I Learned By Making Orange Juice

/ Denise / 5 Comments
“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

The baby is sleeping a little later these days which translates into a few hours in the early morning to use as I deem fit. Mostly, I walk around the house looking for things to do because, as we all know, I don’t relax well. But occasionally, I take some of those peaceful moments to be more mindful.

This morning I removed my grandmother’s citrus juicer from its sacred place, grabbed a basket of beautiful organic oranges (a gift from a neighbor) and proceeded to make myself a wonderful glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. This is important to share because I have a perfectly good, very expensive, electric juicer sitting just a few inches from where I spent my time in mindful meditation this morning.

orangejuice

“How silly,” you might think. “You could have had that orange juice in half the time if you would have used that overpriced kitchen gadget.” Yes, you are correct. But I also would have disturbed the quiet of the morning (the overpriced gadget is very LOUD), created a mess with five moving parts I find completely annoying to clean, and…I wouldn’t have looked up from my task to find two bunnies playing in the yard. There is something miraculous that happens when one decides to take the simpler route.

At first, deciding to be mindful can be challenging. But I’ve found in my personal journey to seek simplicity in all things that true mindfulness can be really cathartic. When our attention is diffused we might be aware of something, but not really focused on it. Like me, with the bunnies. I know bunnies play in the morning. I just didn’t know these bunnies played in my yard in the morning. Get it?

Another thing about mindfulness is that it doesn’t take a degree in rocket science to become proficient. Sure, some take it to the extreme and build a hut in the middle of New Mexico to sit for days in formal meditation. Others…well…we make orange juice. I’m just saying that mindfulness can take place informally with everyday activities. Here are some ways I have learned to be mindful – and I hope you’ll learn from these too:

1. Focus on one thing at a time. Corporate America would have us believe that multi-tasking is a skill we need to move up the ladder. In reality, the multi-tasking as it relates to productivity is a complete myth. Resist the urge to do several things at once. In other words: “When walking, walk. When eating, eat.” (Zen proverb)

2. Don’t rush. Remember the tortoise and the hare? Slow and steady wins the race. The same can be applied to making orange juice by hand or with an expensive juicer. Take your time. Be present. Move slowly. Relax and focus. It is hard at first. Keep trying.

3. Forget your to-do list. The less you do, the better you are. My ‘to do list’ became a ‘project list’ after the baby was born. I only attempt one project a day. This way I focus on one thing at a time. Yes, it takes me longer. That’s the point. I also do a better job. (Today’s project: Vacuum. That is quite an accomplishment when living with an infant.)

4. Be present when you eat. This advice comes directly to you from a woman who sits with an infant in her lap trying to cut her food and eat with one hand 90% of the time. Look, I never said I was a Zen-Master, so we all have things at which we can become better. I’ll work on it if you will. One last thought on this: research indicates that mindful eating helps one to actually eat less.

5. Savor your chores. When you become mindful in the daily tasks you really start to learn to notice things you have never cared about before (shall I mention the bunnies again?). I have started folding laundry in the quiet laundry room instead of sitting in front of the television. (Didn’t realize I had so many socks with holes in the toes. Also, my ‘unmentionables’ are looking a bit ratty these days which may explain…um…never mind). Mindfulness while preparing dinner helped me realize my kitchen design was completely wrong for cooking. I ended up moving my refrigerator, microwave, and all my cooking pans to different locations.

For all of you, I encourage you to just keep at it. Mindfulness takes time. Be gentle with yourself. Decide to be completely present for one task today. Just one. Your mindful task will eventually turn into a mindful day and from that…a mindful week. Finally, you’ll realize a mindful life. But you have to
start with something. Maybe with a glass of orange juice?

This week’s challenge:

Spend five minutes each day doing nothing. Be aware of your breath. Be aware of the tension in your body. Be aware of your thoughts…your feelings…your desires. Did you emerge from your five minutes with more insight? More relaxed? More aware of the aches and pains? Take a moment to let me know.

Announcing the March challenge:

We are invoking my infamous ‘white hanger theory’ this month at our home. We wear 20% of our clothing 80% of the time. This means that, literally, 80% of the clothes in our closets are unnecessary. The white hanger theory works like this: Each time you wear something this month from your closet, rehang it on a white hanger. Do this for three months. In 90 days, you’ll see most of your clothes are not on white hangers. Decide with what you can part. Don’t have white hangers? Then try this instead.

Need more encouragement? See how others have taking the plunge and cleaned up their closet:

Tips for Simplifying Closets and Clothes
5 Steps To Decluttering Your Closet
Decluttering Tips From An Aspiring Hoader
How I Decluttered My Closet

PS…I would be remiss to not mention my new editor who has enriched my life in more ways than one.  Please consider buying her book, The Farmer’s Story.

PSS…I started to use ‘amiss’ instead of ‘remiss’ but I knew my editor would shake her finger at me if I chose incorrectly.  So I Googled it.  See how her presence improves me?  We all have someone who makes us better, right?

Get in the Zone: Divide and Conquer

/ Denise / 5 Comments

I’m so proud of myself. I have an unofficial trademark phrase: Zone Decluttering. This is my go-to phrase in response to comments like “I’d love to organize (declutter, simplify, etc.) my house but I have no idea where to start.”  Zone decluttering, baby. I. Do. It. Every. Day.

My journey of turning my house into a haven and, subsequently, my more simplified life started when I realized I was creating my own chaos by buying things I didn’t need. I also kept things I didn’t need. Even after that, I planned how to purchase more of what I didn’t need. Couple my excess materials with the fact I don’t like to dust, and you’ve got one irritated mama. Spending all day dusting and cleaning things I didn’t need (and for that matter…really didn’t even like) was my pivotal moment. I knew that simply buying more containers and labels (my fetish, btw) was not a viable plan anymore. After all, my stuff was organized. I just didn’t need it. I decided to eat this elephant one little bite at a time. I divided my house in ‘zones’ and then numbered them in order of the most to the least energy draining.

Here’s my very first zone list:

1) Bedroom closet: Invoke the ‘white hanger theory’
2) Living room: Pair down knicknacks and reduce furniture
3) Kitchen: Reduce gadgets, utensils, and stemware (my other fetish)
4) Laundry room: Reduce to one type of soap, softener, and eliminate excess cleaning supplies (Marry as many partially empties as possible?)
5) Office: Reduce office supplies, books, and eliminate ‘paper piles’
6) Garage: Reduce holiday decorations, clear out ‘old memories’, stop with the couponing stockpile.

Truthfully, the garage should have been first because it was the messiest and it was the place I housed all the things I organized into fancy clear bins with precise labels.  But, it was too overwhelming and I needed to get some success under my belt. (Yes, it kinda looked like this.  And yes, I should have gotten rid of most of it years ago.)

I started with my clothes closet. For some reason, getting rid of clothes has never been hard for me.
It took me about a year to work through all six zones, and honestly, I really need to get in that garage again. Maybe this weekend when my husband is out of town (Hehee: Kidding). First rule of decluttering:  Don’t get rid of things that do not belong to you. I learned this the hard way.

Once you have your list of projects, break each project into its own ‘zone’ – a ‘micro-zone’, if you will. A zone is an area (counter tops, cabinets, pantry), room sections (right side, left side) or items (small appliances, utensils, dishware). My ‘zones’ started with items. Here’s an example of how I first decluttered my kitchen:

1) Zone 1: Appliances and gadgets. Get all the small appliances, gadgets and cooking utensils out and on the counter. Once they are out in plain view, you’ll realize that you have two or more of some things and will realize you have things you never use. In my case, I found six large pitchers.  I got rid of four. I also got rid of my George Foreman Grill. I hardly used it and when I did, never liked the taste of the food anyway. Out it went. I decided to keep the waffle maker. First, it’s not ‘mine’. My husband loves this waffle maker. Secondly, while I don’t make waffles often…I do love them and wanted to make them when ever I wanted. Once I had everything in its proper box (donate, sell, store) I reorganized my cabinets. I was pleased with the amount of space I had.  Next project please.

2) Zone 2: Pantry items. A year before this project, I had started down the dangerous extreme couponing path and was storing items we’d probably never eat…and many items that had expired. Everything came out of the cabinets so I could see what I had. Then I divided it out:  “Donate to food pantry”, “Throw away” (yes…throwing away expired food is like chucking $5 bills down the drain) and “Use this month”.  Finished with that, I went to Pinterest and All Recipes and started finding recipes that utilized the ingredients I had. (Intervention fact: I am a Pinning Fanatic.)

3) Zone 3: Glassware/Stemware. Once upon a time, I was a bit of a lush. Kidding, but I really did like stemware and I liked entertaining. Now I still like entertaining, but realized that a nice tumbler can serve as a wine glass and a water glass. A great mason jar makes one heck of a sweet tea vessel. And finally…lets not kid anyone here…my martini’s are really just a bunch of fruit juices laced with vodka, so no martini glass is really needed when the tumbler serves the same purpose. In the end, I donated 24 wine glasses, 8 martini glasses, 13 coffee mugs (not stemware, I know, but I was on a roll…), 10 highball glasses, 2 shakers, 2 champagne flutes, and too-many-to-count shotglasses to a local thrift store. Ahhhh. With that zone cleaned up, I poured myself a drink and relaxed.

This entire process took about 3 weekends. Six days of my life. That is nothing when I consider how many weekends I’ve gained by not owning (cleaning, organizing and storing…) these unnecessary items.  Now I don’t ever feel overwhelmed in my kitchen. Occasionally, it does look like a tornado went through it (I like to bake…and I have an infant. The two responsibilities sometimes demand my attention at the same time.) When this happens, I just use zone cleaning to zip it back into shape. I divide my kitchen into zones (sections) and focus on one at a time. With my baby, this process might take me a an hour because I have to work in ten minute intervals, but that’s okay. Last weekend I decided to bake brownies while also trying to feed the baby. By the way, I don’t recommend this.

Good luck with re-zoning your house (room, closet, cabinet, whatever….). Would LOVE to see your project list and hear about your progress.

Sharing the Love…

/ Denise / 6 Comments

As my editor, Kathryn, looks over several of my newest blog posts, I decided to share some inspirational pieces with you.  I made a promise to my readers that I would stay on track this year and I want to keep the momentum. If you ever wondered how I got started in this new lifestyle and developed this mindset, then I want to introduce you to some of my favorite people!

Grab some hot cocoa, a cup of coffee, or a nice steaming cup of tea.  Settle in.  Relax.  (How can I?  I’m so damn busy?!?!)  Just do it, already.  It’s important to take a deep breath, rest, and restore your soul.  Start now.  And start reading about some of these amazing lives…

Becoming Minimalist by Joshua Becker.  I will sound like a complete cult follower and a possible weirdo by admitting this out loud about a man I have never met but JOSH BECKER changed my life.  If I didn’t love to write so much and share my battle with materialism with the world, I’d simply just redirect to you Josh’s blog every week.  No one says it better than Becker.

Simple Mom by Tsh Oxenreider:  You don’t have to be a mom to enjoy what Tsh has to say about living a simple life.  She’s an easy read and her ideas are a breeze to carry out.  I picked up her book, Organized Simplicity, at the library (I don’t buy books anymore 🙂 because, well, that takes up space).

Get Simplifized by Dan and Vanessa Hayes:  More of any organizational blog than living the life blog, but they have some excellent tips.  My favorite, and definitely on my wish list, is to build a ‘home office shed’ for both myself and my husband since we both work at home.  That would free up two rooms in our house, or help us realize maybe we could even downsize more (Although, my house payment is less than $620 a month…so I’m pleased with the space and payment.  It might be hard to find something better).

The Complete Guide To Imperfect Homemaking by Kelly Oribine.  I started following Kelly on another blog but since the birth of her 6th (5th??  7th?? ) child she’s only able to maintain one blog now (What???  Really, Kelly.  Get on the ball. 🙂 ) so I’m left to catch up with her on Imperfect Homemaking.  That’s okay.  I love her simple style and love that she manages to raise that many children on one income.  She rocks.

365 Less Things by Colleen Madsen.  Like me, Colleen had no intention in starting some big self-improvement project, nor did she set out to change the world.  Well, she’d done both.  Her practical application to reducing clutter is easy to follow and über easy to implement!

Organised Castle by Fairy.  Just starting her journey into the world of blogging, I can totally related to the challenge of finding simplicity but also finding time to share the message.  She links to several awesome like-minded souls (and even mentions me!!) so check her out.

Finding Contentment – Thoughts on the Downsized Life by Donald Miller.  Some people believe that amassing possessions and debt is the key to being more happy but Donald is not one of them.  He’s not totally convinced that downsizing will make anyone happier, but he does believe that it is a huge component.

I believe when the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear.  I was at the end of my rope.  I was completely unhappy, stressed out, and felt like I had no free time at all.  I stumbled across this blog one night, and the rest is history.  I hope to be part of the community of people changing the lives of others with my story.  Enjoy that cup of coffee!