Good afternoon, Dear Reader. I know, I know. I’m late to the party today, and I am armed with zero Flash Fiction words on a Friday. You can hop over to my poetry page if you really need to read something painful to your eyes.

My kiddo and I are headed out camping tonight. Last year I bought a car with a more extensive area in the back so we can car-camp. I received the blow-up bed thingamajig this week, so we plan to try it out. It isn’t the fire building or even the sleeping next to a stinky 9-year-old boy that has made me nervous. It’s the lack of internet service we may experience. My kid is totally addicted to his tablet. Although I’ve warned him that it will be limited, I’m not sure his little brain is quite comprehending the sheer vastness of this particular scenario. Well, he’s about to find out. It’s a good thing I’m packing Jenga and Connect Four. There are also some pretty good hiking trails, which I, seriously, just learned about this morning while reading this blog by How To Do The Ozarks.

This brings me to my point today. A digital detox is needed for both of us, and I plan to take full advantage of the situation this weekend. I might…yes…I might even lie to my kid and tell him there is absolutely no wifi/mobile data/internet available. I think, once he overcomes the initial shock, he might survive. 

Suppose you’ve been thinking the same thing – that you need a digital detox – and it’s been a while since you closed your computer and ditched your phone or other digital devices. In that case, I have some tips for you. Ready?

Good. Grab a drink and settle in. I’ve got five tips on how you can unplug and recharge this weekend.

1. Warn people.

Not only should you warn those who may be affected by your choice – like my poor child – but you should tell at least one important person that they won’t be able to reach you via FB messenger, email, etc. One friend only communicates via FB messenger and freaks out if she can’t get people. I can go days – weeks, even – without checking FB messenger, so I typically will just let her know ahead of time.

2. Hide your devices.

I don’t like being totally without my phone, but I can leave it in another room (or glovebox) if needed. My home computer hasn’t been on for days because I’m in front of a screen all day for work; I don’t want to do it when I get home. For me, television is not really an issue. I rarely watch it. It might be a bit harder to hide a 55″ flat screen, but do what you can to make it more difficult to veg. 

3. Go old school.

I have always journaled via pen on paper, so no worries there. I’m packing a crossword puzzle book this weekend and some paper/crayons. This should be interesting, right? I might also…gasp…pack an actual book with pages that turn. Wow, right? 

4. Relax.

The internet isn’t going anywhere, and you’ll be able to access it soon. Make a list of things you want to do for fun or necessary projects, and you’ll have the time if you back away from anything digital.

5. Plan your experience.

Try to get utterly disconnected if possible. I’m not gonna lie…getting away from Spotify for 48 hours will be challenging for me. But the quiet is essential, too. I have several life changes I need to consider, and the outside ‘noise’ and assault on my attention have made it difficult to think. As for killing time, there’s always rock throwing (in the lake, not at each other…), fires to build, S’Mores to eat, trails to hike. I haven’t really planned much except what we will eat and where we will sleep. Let’s see where the weekend takes us. 

I get it. You may not be camping this weekend. But you can still have a digital sabbatical. You can do all the above tips and then read a book. Or try a new recipe. Maybe take a walk or write a love letter. Here’s something…take a nap or go to the park and do nothing. 

I’m curious what you do when you ditch the digital slave-owners. Let me know in the comments. Until then, here’s your song for today. Nothing about today’s post, but I told you a few weeks ago that I really feel like songwriters never get the credit for anything. So this guy…Mitch Rossell…opened for a little-known artist named Garth Brooks last week at Razorback Stadium (WOO PIG….) with his little ol’ guitar and no backup band. Here’s another one of his I just love and bonus: Music Love Travel is featured. He’s recently released this song and is making a name for himself. However, many people don’t know that he wrote the last three songs that have made Garth a little bit of cash. (Listen to what Garth says about Mitch) So, yeah. There’s that. I love a good song…it’s poetry with flair. (And yeah, I might have a little crush.)

Good afternoon, dear Reader! The sun is shining here in the Ozarks. Bird nests are littering my trees and squirrels are facing the wrath of my stealthy hunter, Ocelot the Cat. One, sadly, did not make it through the weekend. Run faster, little squirrels. Fat Ozzie is in da house.

I’ve been feeling a bit restless this week, folks. I wish I could blame it on the Moon…don’t we blame her for everything? But, alas, I cannot in good conscience blame the moon. The full moon was a week ago and the new moon isn’t close enough to create drama. But…hang on…YEP! Mercury goes retrograde in a few short weeks. Let’s just blame that, shall we?

The truth is all this angst is just me and the changes life has presented me with over the last few weeks. I’ve mentioned I’m moving. I’ve mentioned I’m wrapping up a good year of volunteer work. I’ve mentioned I’m decluttering like a mofo right now. What else has got me thinkin’?

Well, grab a drink. Settle in.

Today’s topic: How to win an argument.

It’s not really rocket science, so I don’t want you getting too terribly excited over my revelations. Here’s the bottom line:

Don’t accept 90% of the invitations you receive to bicker or argue with anyone.

Mentally, just hold up that hand and think to yourself “Not today, Satan. You don’t get to fuck with my mojo.” I like to think I’m getting much better at not arguing than in previous years. I, literally, ask myself this question about 200 times a day: “Is this a discussion I want to have right now?” Most of the time – because I’m not a huge fan of conflict anyway – the answer is ‘No. Not really’.

Here are some ways that came up this week:

1. “We are all a bit autistic, aren’t we?” No. Not really. In fact, that’s probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Autism is a neurological disorder. You are autistic or you are not.
2. “I just ordered 40 additional widgets without any approval, okay?” No. Not really. Someone has to pay for those and since you ordered them then I guess that person is you, right? That will be $600.
3. “Don’t you think women and black people and those with disabilities are just looking for excuses to blame other people?” No. Not really. And I have nothing else to say because honestly, I still don’t have enough information to argue my point on this narrative.
4. “People on food stamps are just lazy.” No. Not really. In fact, when I had to apply for government assistance so my kid could eat, I was working three jobs.
5. “You are going to help me (fill in the blank with anything this person is absolutely capable of doing on their own), right?” No. Not really. But I will get you the phone numbers and you can take care of that yourself.

These days, I don’t even bother with ‘No. Not really.’ I just answer with “Hmmm” or “Huh”. When quizzed further, I might add “You make an interesting point” or “I’ve never really thought about it.” Why? Because. When someone can get you all riled up about something, then they have all the power. I learned this lesson the hard way during an argument about fucking hot dogs. If people can’t control their anger over something as simple as a weiner, then do you really want to have additional conversations with this person? I mean, it’s probably not going to get much better than that, right?

“But, Dear Writer,” you say. “My opinion is important and I need to verbalize it 24/7. Right?”

I mean, yes, of course, your opinion is important. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Do you need to verbalize it 24/7? No. Not really.

Here’s my advice to you when confronted with a dilemma to argue or walk away, dear Reader:

1. Don’t accept every invitation. It’s not worth it. Some people love drama. Don’t be one of them.
2. Keep scrolling. Your opinion is important to you but honestly, most other folks do not care. Swipe left, scroll up, delete, unfriend, whatever you need to do in order to stay at peace.
3. Get comfortable agreeing that 2+2=5 for your own sanity. You can’t out-argue stupid, so don’t try.
4. Say less. Not everyone needs an explanation. “Hmmm” can get you far in life – or at the very least, get you out of a conversation you do not want to have.
5. Mind your own business. Who knows why people do what they do. If you are truly curious, then ask more questions. If you just want to argue a point about why your way is better than their way, then shush your word hole.
6. Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus. And stop attending the ringside event of defending your opinions to those who can’t think beyond their own red rubber nose.
7. Invoke the 5/5 rule. Will this matter in five years? No? Okay. Then don’t waste another five minutes on it.
8. Repeat after me: Not my circus, not my monkeys. Enough said.
9. Have some grace. People come up with all kinds of crazy conclusions about things based on their life-experience. This includes you. This includes me. Everyone is entitled to their opinion – educated or not
10. Embrace your inner gangsta. I’ve never met a real-life gangster, but I like to imagine that they really don’t give a shit about much. Turning 50 last year kinda turned me into a gangsta, of sorts. It was like “click”. My fuck-it switch transformed its ‘automatic setting’ from “We should talk about this” to “I have zero fucks left to give”. And that is amazing.

So, that’s it today. I feel a little less angsty now that I’ve realized I can find a silver lining in the midst of pre-Mercury retrograde weirdness vibes. Hope this helps.

Oh, and….here’s your song. That one is gonna stick in your brain. You’re welcome.

PS…if you loved this post and want to share it with others on all things social, then have at it. Please and thank you!

Good morning, dear Reader! I’m writing these a week in advance so if my weather forecasts and updates don’t actually coincide with the weather you see out your window, that’s why. Today I was blessed with yet another Missouri thunderstorm, the angry claps and cascades of water waking me from a pretty darn good slumber. What’s that Matchbox 20 song lyric? She only sleeps when it’s raining… Yeah. That pretty much sums it up. It’s dark. It’s stormy. It’s raining like a sumbitch. It’s fantastic. Just exactly what a melancholy writer needs to get motivated.

If you were here with us last week, you’d remember that I picked up a copy of Warrior Goddess Training and started it a few weeks back. You can read the first post here. I hope you have your ‘beverage’ ready because we are diving back into that book, and I plan to ask you a few hard questions.

So. Grab a drink. Settle in. You don’t want to miss this.

Last week’s post about self-abuse must have hit a chord with some of you because I had more views in one week than I’ve had all month. (Thank you, dear Reader, for sharing!) I’d love to think it’s because I am such an inspiring and eloquent writer, but I think I type “fuck” too much to stand up with the greats. Nonetheless…here we are. Together. That says something, I suppose.

Chapter two leads us into our thoughts about what is essential and what is not. The chapter is entitled Align with Life. I have to admit, the subject matter was not what I thought it was going to be, but still very thought-provoking.

Do you ever think that Life is just not fair? Do you believe that Life must follow a path or plan that you’ve predetermined (the bucks, the babe, the boat…) based on what you think is ‘normal’? Do you sit and wish your Life was different because it sucks right now and wasn’t supposed to be this way?

I used to think those things all the time. I don’t so much anymore, but I used to be pretty entangled with my self-abusing thoughts when I was going through my divorce. But as the author puts it: Life is perfectly imperfect, unpredictable, and unexplainable. When you fully adopt the mindset that Life is simply unfolding, you open yourself up to some pretty awesome experiences.

My fella and I talk about this a lot because the way our relationship transpired was a tab bit unexpected. Okay. A lot bit unexpected. We met in our senior year of high school. I thought he was cute; he thought I was cute. But we never went out. (Although, there is this ongoing mystery as to why, after 30 years, he still has my senior picture. Creepy or sentimental? You decide.) Anyway…fast forward to Spring 2018. He’s single, I’m almost single. We meet for lunch. He pays. But then…poof…after that one lunch, we just…parted ways. Fast forward to Winter 2021. He’s single; I’m definitely single. We go for a drive. He holds my hand. We have a beer in a little dive bar along with a good cheeseburger. Again, he pays. We’ve been together ever since. If you had told me thirty years ago…or even three years ago…that this guy would be the one to make my heart swoon, I would have most likely said, “You’re batshit crazy.”

But let me let you in on a secret…if I had been in the same headspace in 2021 as in 2018…we would not have even made it past a text message. I believe, like the author of Warrior Goddess Training, that the choices in our lives come down to two things:

1 ) Life is a constant decision: Do I live in Fear or Love?
2) Life is neither fair nor unfair. Life is a constantly moving force. Ride or die, folks. Ride or die.

If we live in fear, we either live as a punitive judge or a flattened victim. If you live in love, you realize that Life is unfolding exactly as it was designed, even in its most unpleasant moments. And yes, I do totally understand how overwhelming and unpleasant Life can get, and I’ve come out the other side realizing that every experience is an opportunity for growth. When we are truly aligned with Life, we accept that aging, death, sickness, natural disasters, accidents, awful human encounters…all of this…is meant to alter our course in Life; to teach us to adapt and be flexible. To help us to let go of an attachment to how our Life is supposed to go and simply allow others to be themselves and for us to be our true authentic selves.

Also, I think you understand that Life cannot be controlled by now (at least I hope you do). You can plan and prepare, but in the end, the only thing we have total control over is how we respond to Life’s twists and turns. I know two people who have lost their spouses in the last twelve months, and while they grieve, they haven’t let the grief stop them from moving on in their lives. I know another soul who lost a spouse over a decade ago and is still sitting in a chair, waiting for death to take her. You must own your response to Life’s curveballs. You don’t get to choose the outcome…you only get to choose how you react. Life is going to continue whether you are on board or not. So. Get. On. Board.

As you ‘get on board’, I’m leaving you with a song. I, thankfully, seem to be off my Taylor Swift kick but have reunited with Kenny Chesney. This is a Kenny hit, but I found this story about Travis Meadows and he’s actually the one who wrote the song. Travis Meadows (born 1965) is an American country music singer and songwriter. He has released four albums, as well as written songs for other country artists. I was gonna link to the Kenny Chesney version but I think our buddy Kenny has received a lot of credit, but the songwriters are often overlooked. Not today. Not on my watch. Read more about Mr. Meadows here. Breathe in. Breathe out. Call a friend if you need to.

Until next time…bottom’s up!

PS…If you loved this post, do all the sharing things on all the socials. Much obliged.