True and…um…true.

Good morning, Dear Reader! There’s a spring in my step because…wait for it…IT. IS. 68*. RIGHT. NOW. Sure, it’s rainy, but I don’t mind the rain. As a brooding writer, this is the perfect weather to contemplate my true crime novel. (What true crime novel?!? Sigh. There is no true crime novel. That’s why I’m contemplating it, Silly.)

Actually, don’t you worry. My brain is on overdrive. I’m thinking about things that can be the same today. Sometimes we try to make the world fit into this little black and white box, or we believe that something must be either true or false. If something is not right, then it must be wrong. Right?


I’m not so sure about that.

I’m over here in my tiny, uncluttered home (sparse is more accurate), and I’ve had a lot of time to process the quirky things that come into my brain. I haven’t plugged in a television yet, so I’m literally working from sun up to sun down. More accurately, ‘son’ up to ‘son’ down. (I love that little human and he wears me out sometimes.)

I’m also without whiskey or wine over here, but I’ll join you with a cup of coffee – black – this morning if you’d like.

Go on. Grab a drink. Settle in. Let’s go over a few things, shall we?

More specifically, let’s talk about things that can be equally true. Not true or false. Not correct or incorrect; right or wrong; yes or no….you get the picture. Ready to dive in? Good. Here we go.

1) You are resilient and you need a break. I know you pride yourself on the fact that you are the ‘strong’ one. The person who has overcome. The gal who laughs at adversity. The man who doesn’t let his hurt-side show. But it’s okay to need a break. I take them all the time. Solo road trips. Babysitters. Lunch breaks on the patio. It’s okay to put yourself first.

2) You gave your all and needed to back out. There are times when you think moving forward is all you want to do…and then you get there, and you think, “Holy shit. I’m not ready for this.” It’s not always pleasant to be in that position, and others may not understand. Some may even be hurt. While I don’t enjoy hurting others, I’ve learned that ignoring my well-being for others’ feelings is counterproductive. I was PTA president for a year and a half. I was all in, but now I’m barely visible. I took a job last fall that paid a shit-ton, and six months later, I resigned. It’s okay to say, ‘Whoa, Nelly. Slow your roll.” Ya feel me?

3) You are independent and still need others. Read that one again. I admire an independent soul. There’s less babysitting to be done with folks like that. In fact, I reckon I’m one of those people. But that doesn’t stop me from asking for help when I genuinely need it. I didn’t use to…and I’m not saying it’s easy…but I can do it if I need to do it. So can you.

4) Others have it worse, and your own pain is still valid. Oh. My. God. I cannot tell you how much I hate the phrase “Practice gratitude. So many others have it worse than you.” First, yes. Practice gratitude. But that other part? Also true…BUT that kind of thinking completely invalidates the pain of your experience. Here’s a secret: Life can still suck in a first-world country. Shit happens. People die. Jobs disappear. Relationships fail. Houses burn down (literally and metaphorically). Acknowledge that it hurt or that you’re scared. Own it. It’s okay. Yes. Others may have it worse, but you are still allowed to break.

5) You were sure and things changed. This one. My goodness. Last Spring, I agreed to do something, but I had to back out just four months later. I thought I was ready. I wasn’t. You gotta understand that you don’t owe anyone anything except the truth. If you can’t be honest and vulnerable about the fact that you made a mistake, moved too fast, or thought you wanted the blue one when you really needed the green one, then you’ll continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. Repeat after me: I made the best decision I could at the time with the information I had at my disposal.

Today, short but sweet, right? {Shrug}. It’s the weekend. I wanted to touch base without overwhelming you. But, alas, I did dig up a great song for you this weekend. (Pssst…that’s a hyperlink. It will take you right to the song. Go on. Click it.) After all these years, this is one of those songs that makes me stop and listen anytime. To me, this song is about our own contradictory nature. Perfect for today, me thinks. He basically is saying “I can’t ask for help…but can you just hang out with me for a little bit and love me through my dark days?” Of course, your interpretation of this song is welcome. I’m curious. What do you think he’s saying?

PS…if this post was all you ever wanted it to be and you can’t get over how awe-inspiring it is (scoffs), please feel free to share it like glitter all over the interwebs. Please and thank you.

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